Telling Alfred
by chopper3419
Summary: Matthew and Gil are finally telling Alfred about their relationship. Al's reaction is... Unexpected. One-shot.


We had talked about this. Gilbert was supposed to stay quiet while I did all the talking. After all, who knew how Al would take it. I mean, he was always a bit overprotective of me, and Gil was a friend of his. Wasn't there some rule about friends not hooking up with their friend's siblings? Or would Al be more accepting since he already knew Gil? If he got angry, would it ruin his and Gil's relationship? Would it ruin our relationship? There were a million ways this could go wrong, but we couldn't hide our relationship forever.

Though, as I sat across from Alfred with Gil sitting to my left, I wished we could just hide it forever. I sat there stiff, while Gilbert looked everywhere but at Alfred. Al just stared at us, oblivious to our nervousness. The clock ticked and ticked and ticked.

After what felt like an eternity, Gil took a breath and looked at Al with a serious expression, as if he was preparing to say something. No, this was not part of the plan! I sucked in a breath, waiting for Gil to say something stupid, or who knows, maybe he would say something intelligent, maybe he had thought of a gentle way to break it to Al-

"Alfred, I'm doing your brother."

Goddamn it Gil. Of all the things to say, you had to choose _that_? Guess who isn't getting laid tonight? Hint, he's albino and a _complete dumbass. _I gave Gil my most terrifying glare and thought of a good way to hide his corpse after I murdered him, or Al murdered him, either one works. I suppose I could always just throw him into the dumpster like the stupid piece of trash he is. Maybe I could cut him into pieces and flush him down the toilet, sine he's such a piece of shit. Now to come up with a good alibi.

While I contemplated exactly how stupid my boyfriend was, Al just stared slack-jawed at us, at a loss for words. He glanced quickly back and forth between me and Gilbert, taking in my silent fury and Gilbert's serious expression. Eventually he composed himself. A huge grin spread over his face.

"Nice! Get some Mattie!" He held out his hand for a high five. I just stared. What kind of reaction was that? What happened to overprotective, "no dating until you're fifty" Alfred? Was this some kind of calm before the storm? Was Alfred about to do a 360 and punch Gil in the face?

"Elizabeta owes me twenty bucks! I told her you didn't have a thing for that Cuban kid!" Alfred exclaimed triumphantly.

"Of course he doesn't have a thing for the Cuban kid! Not while The Awesome Me is around!" Gil said. I could only stare at the two of them. What the hell? Gil was about to say something, but I slapped my hand across his mouth.

"Al, are you saying that you made bets on my love life? " I said as calmly as I could manage without letting my confusion show.

"Yep." He said in his usual cheerful tone. All of my plans to murder Gil suddenly involved Al as the victim.

"Exactly how many people were involved in this bet?"

"I dunno, like ten? Eliza and Feli were betting on you and the Cuban kid. Kiku and Antonio thought you would end up with Ivan the terrible, and I think Yao and a few others were betting on you and Katyusha. Don't worry bro! I knew you'd go for Gil! I saw you eyeing his ass in chemistry once-"

"Kesesese! Of course he was! I have the most awesome ass! It's almost as awesome as my five meters!" Gilbert interjected after prying my hand off his mouth. Oh dear lord. I could feel a headache coming on. Gil had resumed his laughter, and this time Al joined in. I reached a hand up to rub my temple. I couldn't decide who was stupider, my brother or my boyfriend. I took steady breaths and counted to ten in an effort to not attack someone. All of a sudden, Al got quiet. Gil and I both looked at him, only to see that his face had taken on a serious expression. This was it; This was the moment that Al revealed that he is actually completely against our relationship and punched Gil in the face (though at this point, Gil getting punched in the face sounded pretty good).

"Gil, Mattie, while I'm all for you two getting it on, don't forget that protection is key."

I felt my face go red. I buried my face in my hands while Gilbert laughed.

"Don't worry! I'm too awesome not to use a condom! I'm always careful!"

"Gilbert, you are not discussing our sex life with my brother."

Gilbert and Al both laughed at that. They then proceeded to have a (very loud) conversation about who knows what. I love my brother and I love my boyfriend, but goddamn it, they are the most obnoxious people I have ever met. Even so, I suppose this could have gone worse. Al seemed to be completely supportive, although I still was not ditching the idea that this was all some elaborate ruse and that Al was secretly going to get revenge on Gil when no one was looking.

Speaking of Al, I knew that with his mouth, by tomorrow everyone in the entire school would know about me and Gil. Oh well, as long as Kiku doesn't write us into his bizarre stories and Eliza doesn't try to sneak a picture of us (seriously, those two have problems). Everyone knowing about us was a small price to pay, considering how much worse that it could've gone. Al could have punched Gil in the face, or kicked him in the crotch. Or I could've done that. At least now that Al knew, there was nothing to worry about. The worst was over.

"Hey Mattie, when are you telling Dad and Papa?"

Fuck.


End file.
